SPACE ACADEMY: "My Favorite Marcia"

As I've said before, my Favorite Episodes are just that - my favorites. They're not necessarily the best episodes of the series in question; for that matter, they may not even be good ones, by most standards. But, for some reason or another, these are the ones that enjoy watching over and over, and somehow, never tire of them. One such favorite is the 1977 Space Academy episode, "My Favorite Marcia."

Set in the "star year 3732," the Saturday Morning series Space Academy, produced by Filmation Studios,  chronicled the lessons and adventures of "Blue Team," a group of young cadets stationed at the titular educational institution. Uniquely, the Academy was built on and into an asteroid, and was commanded by the 300 year-old Commander Isaac Gampu, portrayed by the great Jonathan Harris. Harris is best known to sci-fi fans for his role as Dr. Zachery Smith on the 60s Irwin Allen TV series Lost In Space. The year before Space Academy, he had made two guest appearances on Filmation's Ark II, and would follow up Academy by providing the voice of the charmingly snide Cylon cogitator Lucifer on Battlestar Galactica.

"My Favorite Marcia" is different from most of the other Academy episodes in that it is primarily a showcase for Harris, and his character, Isaac Gampu. In fact, it is in this episode that we actually learn the character's first name (no doubt a homage to science fiction author Isaac Asimov)... among other things.

As the episode begins, we find Commander Gampu and most of Blue Team aboard one of the Academy's Seeker shuttles, observing a white dwarf star that's due to go nova. While they are discussing the upcoming celestial light show, they receive a distress signal from one of the planets orbiting the doomed star. Being galactic good guys, they are obligated to investigate the signal and attempt to rescue the sender(s). They land on the unnamed world, and Gampu takes cadets Laura Gentry and Tee Gar (Pamelyn Ferdin and Brian Tochi - both of whom had appeared in the third season Star Trek episode, "And The Children Shall Lead") with him to search out the source of the signal, while ordering Paul (Ty Henderson), Loki (Eric Greene) and robot Peepo to stay aboard the shuttle and return to space, in order to scan the planet from orbit.

Of course, troublemakers Loki and Peepo sneak off the Seeker before it launches...

Gampu, Laura and Tee Gar find the distress beacon, and Gampu recognizes the name of the ship stenciled on its side - Sunbeam... commanded by one Marcia Giddings (Dena Dietrich), an independent space trader with whom the Commander has some history. "Dear Marcia always had the happy faculty of being in the wrong place at the wrong time..."

While searching for Captain Giddings, Gampu and the cadets encounter a large, ominous black robot (the legendary Robby the Robot with a more sinister cyclopean dome and a few other minor modifications), and are, rather embarrassingly, quickly ensnared in a force field (which Tee Gar hilariously attempts to kung fu his way out of!). Fortunately, Loki & Peepo have found Giddings, and with a little judicious rewiring of the Academy's robot mascot, are able to short circuit the force field and free the captive cadets and their commander. Needless to say, Gampu isn't happy about having had to be saved by Marcia (and Loki, one presumes)...

"Well, Marcia, we meet again."
 
"Hello, Captain."
 
"Commander."
 
"Sorry. Commander."
 
"I find you as I last saw you: on the brink of disaster. What havoc have you wrought this time?"

"Now, hold it, sonny..."
 
"I beg your pardon?"

"You've got your right shoe on your left foot again. It's you that's causing the trouble, not me."
 
"You haven't changed one iota!"
 
"Oh, yes, I have. I've come into the full flower of my womanhood."
 
"Albeit a bit wilted."
 
"You haven't changed either. Pity."

Turns out that Marcia had been mining for diamonds on the planet when the black robot appeared out of nowhere and destroyed her ship. Since then, she's been avoiding it and awaiting rescue. Gampu and company prepare to leave the planet, but unfortunately, there's still the hostile robot to deal with...

Using Peepo, they first communicate with the automaton, which is, according to Peepo, "...not a true robot, but a war machine." How this engine of destruction (which so far has only exhibited some decidedly non-lethal force field technology - amusingly accompanied by a "bionic" sound effect!) came to this otherwise uninhabited planet, is never explained. Anyway, Peepo determines the bot's control frequency, and using the Sunbeam's distress beacon to send a signal, they shut the brute down. Paul arrives in the Seeker, and they all escape the planet just in time to watch the sun go nova.

Back at the Academy, Gampu and Marcia exchange some bitingly sarcastic - but clearly affectionate - repartee before the Commander gifts her with a huge diamond that he happened to pick up back on the planet.

"You are a doll, Isaac."
 
"Never, never call me that."
 
"Three hundred years old and still acting like a baby over that name? It is yours, you know."
 
"Not by choice!"
 
"When, when, dear Gampu... when are you ever gonna loosen up?"
 
"Madam, I am as loose as I intend to be!"

That may be the most in-depth synopsis I've written for one of these essays yet, and it's funny, because this is an insanely simple plot, as befits a show aimed at ten-to-thirteen year-olds. And it's not even the story that makes this one of my favorite few episodes of Space Academy. No, what makes me enjoy it so much is the undeniable chemistry between Harris and Dietrich (who was familiar to me even in '77 from those margarine commercials where she played "Mother Nature"). The back-and-forth between these two old pros is just delightful (I particularly love it when she keeps referring to geezer Gampu as "sonny.") to watch & listen to.

Also, as a regular viewer then/fan now, it's a favorite because it hints of an intriguing history for the Gampu character beyond the established curmudgeonly grandfather/headmaster that we'd seen every other week. The idea that this ancient geezer had once been in love - and, clearly, it was a passionate, tempestuous relationship - showed a whole new side to the character. I probably didn't appreciate it when I was 13, but I do now.

Finally - and you knew this was coming - "My Favorite Marcia" ranks high with me because, well, Robby the Robot is in it. Sure, he's wearing a different head, but it's still my best 'bot Robby, playing the heavy for a change.

Yeah, it would be nice if there had been some more outer space/spaceship stuff (too bad they couldn't have afforded to build a miniature of Marcia's wrecked Sunbeam on the planet's surface), or if they'd managed to actually explain the existence of the warbot (perhaps a remnant from the "Vegan Wars" mentioned in an early episode?), or had a few more scenes with Maggie Cooper in her miniskirt... but it's still a pretty decent kid's adventure story, and the character stuff between Gampu and Marcia is great. And hey, I even get a smile out of the punny title.

QUARK: "All The Emperor's Quasi-Norms"

I'm still working on my Favorite Episodes post on Space: 1999's "War Games," but as it's taking me a long time, for some reason, I've decided to skip it for now. So, for my second F.E. post, I'm looking instead at Quark's only two-part episode, "All The Emperor's Quasi-Norms." (The title, of course, is a play on All the President's Men, which had been a hit film two years before.) According to the IMDb, these episodes originally aired on March 24th and 31st of 1978.

As usual, the adventure begins with Palindrome getting Quark's hopes up about a new mission, only to once again send the hapless commander and his crew on another garbage run. On their way to rendezvous with - and receive garbage from - a starship, they encounter an unknown vessel. They are captured by the aliens, and it turns out that the ship is a Gorgon battle cruiser under the command of Emperor Vorgon the Malevolent, half-brother to the High Gorgon, himself.

Vorgon is accompanied by his daughter, Princess Libido, who finds herself instantly infatuated with the cold, Vegeton science officer, Ficus. ("Are you saying that Princess Libido is exhibiting that condition which you animals refer to as romantic affection at initial visual perception?") Meanwhile, Vorgon has convinced himself that Quark knows the location of It - a mysterious treasure that he greatly desires, and threatens to kill Quark's crew if he doesn't reveal Its location.

Desperate, Quark punts and tells Vorgon that It is hidden on the asteroid Rhombar. Much to his surprise, it turns out that It really is - and that Quark is apparently destined by prophecy to find and wield It. With the help of a tribe of forest people, led by the Prince Vultan-styled Baron (played by an uncredited actor), he finds It, which turns out to be a gemstone amulet reputed to make Its wearer invincible.

What I like the most about "All The Emperor's Quasi-Norms" is that, while it borrows character iconography from the old Flash Gordon serials (Vorgon the Malevolent - played by the awesome Ross Martin of The Wild Wild West - is clearly inspired by the merciless Ming), the story itself isn't a parody of a particular film or TV show. Most episodes of Quark were clearly based on specific installments of Star Trek or films like Star Wars and 2001, but "Emperor's" is more of a broad spoof of space opera in general.

Writer Jonathan Kaufer delivers probably the best script in the series (even his treatment of Gene/Jean is better than usual), and incorporates lots of classic space opera tropes, from the horny space princess, to the prison cell with crushing walls, to the incredibly specific galactic legend/prophecy that Quark inadvertently fulfills. Experienced TV director Bruce Bilson, a veteran of Get Smart as well as numerous action shows, keeps the pace lively, and exhibits deft comic timing. Not every joke works, but a lot more than usual hit their mark, and this episode does feature the series finest (in my opinion) comic moment:

Princess Libido's (portrayed by a very funny and sexy Joan Van Ark) attempted seduction of Ficus is the comedic high point of Quark's all-too-short run, and both Van Ark and Richard Kelton are brilliant in the scene.

Libido is nonplussed when Ficus fails to react to her passionate kiss, and Ficus must explain the differences between animal and vegetable love: "Libido, this is where we're going to have a problem.You see, where I come from, we don't kiss, we polinate." When asked to demonstrate, Ficus drops to the floor, lies on his back, sticks his arms and legs in the air, and says, "Bee bee bee bee bee bee bee bee bee bee bee...."

Libido joins him on the floor and they both chant. After a moment or two, Ficus asks: "Is it good for you?"

"I think so. Is this what you Vegetons find pleasurable?"

"It would appear so."
  
"What do we do next?"

"We wait for the bee."

Damn, I laughed just typing that. Needless to say, they are soon interrupted by her father, who is enraged that his daughter is pollinating with a Vegeton, and orders that Ficus be hauled away by the guards. This gives  Kelton a chance to do his Sean Connery in Goldfinger impression:

Anyway, there are other bits of comic gold in this episode, one of which involves Gene/Jean slamming painfully into a wall. Ross Martin, in particular, has some great bits as Vorgon, and displays good chemistry with Richard Benjamin:

"You know what others say? They say that I dwell too much on torture and murder. They say that I'll kill for the joy of it. They say I wipe out whole civilizations at the touch of a button."

"Are they right?"

"Oh, yes."

This episode even has a couple of alien monsters that aren't too shabby by the (Sid & Marty Krofft) standards of the time, a predatory Lizagoth (great name!):

And a Psycloid (or Cycloid), decked out in 40s wrestler togs and a modified Don Post mask:

Say what you want, but they're better than anything we saw on Buck Rogers! Overall production values are good, too. The sets representing Vorgon's ship are quite decent (again, by 70s TV standards) and the costumes - especially those worn by Van Ark and Martin - are classic space opera. These were clearly the most lavish installments of Quark. Even the forest sets/locations for asteroid Rhombar are cool, with hot springs, orange rocks and multicolored foliage.

The main cast pretty much get good scenes in this episode; Tim Thomerson is given a slightly less degrading subplot of his own, and handles himself well. The Barnstable twins get to indulge in some heavy breathing when they attempt to teach Ficus about mammalian mating rituals, and, obviously, Richard Kelton really gets to shine with his storyline. Hell, even Andy the robot gets a few good lines.

Benjamin is particularly good in this one though, and seems to really be having fun. He clearly enjoys sparring with Ross Martin, gets to demonstrate his skill at physical comedy in several scenes, and gets lots of close-in work with the twins.

Overall, "All The Emperor's Quasi-Norms" is a terrific space opera spoof, and suggests that Quark had a lot of comedic potential. I think that had the show been allowed a full season, it would be better regarded and remembered today. Well, I like it.

Maybe I'll get to "War Games" next time....

BUCK ROGERS: "Return of the Fighting 69th"

I've made no secret of my affection for the first season of Buck Rogers in the 25th Century. Like the "Silver Age" and "Bronze Age" superhero comics I grew up with and still love, it was a show about adventure, humor, glamor and heroism. One thing it wasn't was subtle. But you, know, I like that. One of my favorite episodes from that first season - perhaps my very favorite - is "Return of the Fighting 69th."

I actually started writing a detailed synopsis of the episode, but after about an hour and half spent recounting roughly the first ten minutes of the show, I realized that I was being stupid. Not only is the show on DVD (and I bet most readers of this blog have the set) but it can be watched on Hulu by anyone who's not familiar with it or can't remember it from when it aired in the autumn of '79.

Suffice to say, this is the episode where a bunch of "over-the-hill" space marines are recruited for one last mission - a strike on the base of galactic gunrunners Corliss (Robert Quarry of Count Yorga, Vampire) and his partner/lover Roxanne Trent (Elizabeth Allen), which is hidden the heart of a nigh-impenetrable asteroid field. These veterans - the titular "Fighting 69th," are led by Noah Cooper (Mission: Impossible's Peter Graves), Wilma's old flight instructor and family friend.

This is an interesting episode to me for a lot of reasons. For one thing, we get a nice anti-ageism message and a sympathetic supporting character who is a deaf-mute (deaf actress Katherine Wiberg - pictured above - in her only TV or film role). For another, we're given tantalizing little glimpses into Wilma's past. It's stated that her father flew with the 69th when she was a child. Clearly her father (never mentioned before or again) was not only a military pilot, but died while she was young, and Cooper became something of a surrogate father figure to her. This explains a lot about her character (at least as portrayed in these early episodes) and gives Erin Gray some genuinely human emotions to express.

We also get another brief glimpse into Buck's history when we find out that back in the 20th Century, Buck dated a teacher who worked with the deaf, and who taught him sign language. Is there nothing this man cannot do?

The episode's villains, Corliss and Trent, are fascinating, as well. In a previous encounter with Colonel Deering, they were trapped in a burning spaceship where Corliss was severely disfigured and lost an eye. Trent lost a hand to the flames, pulling him to safety, and their status as interstellar fugitives prevented them from getting top-flight medical care, condemning them to clunky metal prostheses and grotesque scarring. Their plot to destroy Earth's population with some stolen 20th Century nerve gas is driven by pure, unbridled revenge. What's particularly interesting to me is that they genuinely seem to love each other. Sure, they're horrible, mercenary criminals, but they are capable of love - if only for each other.

Another thing I like about this episode are the great guest stars, something that Buck Rogers, in its first season, really excelled at. Aside from the late, great Peter Graves and B-movie heavy Quarry, we get the legendary Woody Strode as one of the 69th's pilots. This guy's film career goes all the way back to 1939 and he's worked with directors like John Ford and Stanley Kubrick. He isn't given a lot to do in the episode except look imposing, but it's just so cool to see him in a space suit.

I also have to mention the 69th's mascot, a mutt named "Lucky." In an article that story editor Alan Brennert wrote for Starlog magazine back in 1980, he discussed this episode at some length. Apparently the writers were getting a bit punchy and were extremely amused with how loaded this particular script was with "schmaltz" - a deaf-mute slave girl rescued and reunited with her family by Buck, the whole Wilma-Cooper soap opera etc. - and started joking about how all the episode needed now was a puppy. The story goes that they then received a phone call from the network demanding that they find a place in the episode for a dog. It turns out that the pooch had been rescued by and showcased in The National Enquirer, and the network figured that if they gave the canine a role on the show, they'd get tons of publicity in the tabloid. At first, the writers were convinced it was a joke, but no - the dog was written into the script.

There's a lot of new Hartland effects shots in "Return," beginning with the Nacrosis asteroid belt itself. It's not as kinetic and interesting as the asteroid field in The Empire Strikes Back, but it's effective enough for Buck Rogers. There are at least three space dogfights featuring "Scorpion" fighters (first seen in "Planet of the Slave Girls") and "cargo sleds" equipped with tail guns. There's also the miniature of Corliss & Trent's base itself, built into a large asteroid.

I've always loved this episode, with its classic adventure plot and interesting characters. I even like the so-called "schmaltz" (though I'd prefer to think of it as "heart") - when Cooper and his crew are presumed dead for a while at the end of the episode, I always choke up a little. And when Alicia is reunited with her family in the tag, it's a genuinely emotional - if somewhat thrown away - scene. But even more than those elements, I just love particular moments. For example, when Roxanne Trent meets Buck, she offers him her metal hand with the expectation of revolting or threatening him, but he takes it in his own and places a gentlemanly kiss on her copper-plated wrist. That's cool.

I also like Wilma's enthusiastic flirting with the guards when she and Buck are thrown into a holding cell on Corliss' base. The comic sequence is extremely broad and campy, but it's funny, too - and Gray looks astoundingly sexy in the scene.

There's also a surprisingly grim and effective scene between Dr. Huer and Dr. Theopolis when they believe that the mission has failed and Buck & Wilma are dead. Their discussion about their options is bleak and somewhat frightening. Apparently there's an "Omega complex" somewhere underground that can hold a limited number of people (specifically, Earth's leadership), and it falls to Huer and Theopolis to choose who will be permitted to survive. Considering that one of the participants in the scene is a plastic prop with flashing lights, it's a remarkably effective and moving sequence.

But my absolute favorite moment is when Buck grabs an old machine gun off a pile of 20th Century munitions and threatens Corliss with it. "That's just an ancient signaling device," Corliss insists. Buck fires a few hundred rounds into the floor: "Get the message?"

So - solid military mission-adventure plot, interesting villains and charismatic guest stars, lots of outer space action, some emotion and Buck Rogers with a machine gun. In my book, that adds up to a hell of a great hour of TV space opera, and I never tire of rewatching it.


Next on "Favorite Episodes" - Space: 1999's "War Games."